TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
09-11-25
APPROVED
Slurpee Samurai Steve
Strength80
Speed70
Endurance85
Technique90
Molecular Density2.6
Existential Dread35
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Slurpee Samurai Steve VS Disorder McFrenzy
Disorder McFrenzy
68Strength
95Speed
70Endurance
88Technique
1.5Molecular Density
92Existential Dread
12Fingers
8Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Slurpee Samurai Steve
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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