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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
09-11-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Thursday, September 11, 2025 at 10:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Fish Summer

Fish Summer

Strength40
Speed98
Endurance60
Technique82
Molecular Density1.1
Existential Dread40
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Fish Summer VS Delivery Driver Danny
Delivery Driver Danny

Delivery Driver Danny

75Strength
85Speed
90Endurance
75Technique
2.5Molecular Density
80Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Delivery Driver Danny
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule