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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
09-12-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Friday, September 12, 2025 at 8:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Baiten Switch

Baiten Switch

Strength40
Speed75
Endurance75
Technique110
Molecular Density5.8
Existential Dread85
Fingers0
Toes25
TALE OF THE TAPE
Baiten Switch VS Just Five More Minutes
Just Five More Minutes

Just Five More Minutes

50Strength
40Speed
90Endurance
85Technique
1.8Molecular Density
70Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Just Five More Minutes
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule