TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
09-15-25
APPROVED
Social Anxiety Sam
Strength38
Speed45
Endurance52
Technique72
Molecular Density1.3
Existential Dread95
Fingers6
Toes14
TALE OF THE TAPE
Social Anxiety Sam VS Bacon Windfall
Bacon Windfall
88Strength
70Speed
82Endurance
78Technique
2.8Molecular Density
18Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Bacon Windfall
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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