TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
09-16-25
APPROVED
LinkedIn Larry "Professional Network"
Strength75
Speed70
Endurance80
Technique85
Molecular Density2.1
Existential Dread75
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
LinkedIn Larry "Professional Network" VS TikTok Tiffany "Viral Violence"
TikTok Tiffany "Viral Violence"
40Strength
98Speed
55Endurance
88Technique
0.8Molecular Density
85Existential Dread
12Fingers
8Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
TikTok Tiffany "Viral Violence"
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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