TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
09-17-25
APPROVED
Fresh Rodriguez
Strength75
Speed90
Endurance70
Technique95
Molecular Density2.1
Existential Dread35
Fingers12
Toes8
TALE OF THE TAPE
Fresh Rodriguez VS First Sunday
First Sunday
95Strength
120Speed
20Endurance
65Technique
81.2Molecular Density
25Existential Dread
15Fingers
6Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
First Sunday
Violence concluded.
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