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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
09-17-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Wednesday, September 17, 2025 at 11:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Nylon Dreams

Nylon Dreams

Strength70
Speed95
Endurance75
Technique85
Molecular Density1.8
Existential Dread55
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Nylon Dreams VS Ringo Starr
Ringo Starr

Ringo Starr

45Strength
70Speed
70Endurance
85Technique
1.8Molecular Density
40Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Nylon Dreams
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule