TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
09-19-25
APPROVED
Gains McGainface
Strength95
Speed75
Endurance90
Technique70
Molecular Density3.9
Existential Dread12
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Gains McGainface VS Twitch Streamer Tyler
Twitch Streamer Tyler
55Strength
88Speed
65Endurance
92Technique
1.8Molecular Density
88Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Gains McGainface
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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