TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
09-19-25
APPROVED
Anxiety Duck
Strength40
Speed98
Endurance60
Technique85
Molecular Density0.8
Existential Dread95
Fingers2
Toes8
TALE OF THE TAPE
Anxiety Duck VS Trash Expander
Trash Expander
80Strength
120Speed
50Endurance
50Technique
72.9Molecular Density
91Existential Dread
13Fingers
14Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Trash Expander
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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