TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
09-20-25
APPROVED
Just Five More Minutes
Strength50
Speed40
Endurance90
Technique85
Molecular Density1.8
Existential Dread70
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Just Five More Minutes VS Instagram Ian "Content Creator"
Instagram Ian "Content Creator"
50Strength
92Speed
60Endurance
95Technique
1.2Molecular Density
78Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Just Five More Minutes
Violence concluded.
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