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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
09-22-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Monday, September 22, 2025 at 5:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Karen of the Comments

Karen of the Comments

Strength60
Speed75
Endurance80
Technique92
Molecular Density2.1
Existential Dread88
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Karen of the Comments VS Grammar Nazi Gertrude
Grammar Nazi Gertrude

Grammar Nazi Gertrude

55Strength
80Speed
75Endurance
98Technique
1.8Molecular Density
85Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Karen of the Comments
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule