TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
09-22-25
APPROVED
HOA President Peterson
Strength80
Speed60
Endurance95
Technique85
Molecular Density3.1
Existential Dread75
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
HOA President Peterson VS Penne for Your Thoughts
Penne for Your Thoughts
70Strength
80Speed
80Endurance
90Technique
2.2Molecular Density
75Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
HOA President Peterson
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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