TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
09-23-25
APPROVED
Bob Ross
Strength31
Speed42
Endurance96
Technique101
Molecular Density1.2
Existential Dread5
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Bob Ross VS Just Five More Minutes
Just Five More Minutes
44Strength
36Speed
88Endurance
82Technique
1.8Molecular Density
70Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Bob Ross
Violence concluded.
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