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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
09-23-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Tuesday, September 23, 2025 at 2:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Chris Kirkpatrick

Chris Kirkpatrick

Strength50
Speed75
Endurance65
Technique85
Molecular Density1.5
Existential Dread70
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Chris Kirkpatrick VS Brian Littrell
Brian Littrell

Brian Littrell

50Strength
75Speed
65Endurance
90Technique
1.6Molecular Density
70Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Brian Littrell
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule