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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
09-25-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Thursday, September 25, 2025 at 12:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Last Pick Larry

Last Pick Larry

Strength41
Speed58
Endurance44
Technique66
Molecular Density1.2
Existential Dread83
Fingers9
Toes11
TALE OF THE TAPE
Last Pick Larry VS Participation Trophy Tom
Participation Trophy Tom

Participation Trophy Tom

46Strength
52Speed
58Endurance
62Technique
1.0Molecular Density
80Existential Dread
12Fingers
8Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Participation Trophy Tom
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule