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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
09-25-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Thursday, September 25, 2025 at 2:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Shrek

Shrek

Strength95
Speed50
Endurance90
Technique60
Molecular Density4.2
Existential Dread45
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Shrek VS Waiting Room William
Waiting Room William

Waiting Room William

60Strength
50Speed
100Endurance
90Technique
2.0Molecular Density
88Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Waiting Room William
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule