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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
09-30-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Tuesday, September 30, 2025 at 9:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Stretch Filigree

Stretch Filigree

Strength50
Speed95
Endurance85
Technique90
Molecular Density0.7
Existential Dread45
Fingers20
Toes4
TALE OF THE TAPE
Stretch Filigree VS Soccer Mom Supreme
Soccer Mom Supreme

Soccer Mom Supreme

75Strength
95Speed
80Endurance
70Technique
2.2Molecular Density
65Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Stretch Filigree
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule