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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
10-02-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Thursday, October 2, 2025 at 12:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Baby Triumphant

Baby Triumphant

Strength35
Speed60
Endurance30
Technique98
Molecular Density0.8
Existential Dread5
Fingers5
Toes5
TALE OF THE TAPE
Baby Triumphant VS Verne Troyer
Verne Troyer

Verne Troyer

38Strength
72Speed
63Endurance
87Technique
1.1Molecular Density
55Existential Dread
8Fingers
8Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Verne Troyer
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule