TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
10-09-25
APPROVED
Steve Irwin
Strength82
Speed88
Endurance93
Technique90
Molecular Density2.5
Existential Dread20
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Steve Irwin VS Nurse Nightmare Nancy
Nurse Nightmare Nancy
80Strength
91Speed
88Endurance
85Technique
2.5Molecular Density
70Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Steve Irwin
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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