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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
10-10-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Friday, October 10, 2025 at 6:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Splinter Testimony

Splinter Testimony

Strength74
Speed81
Endurance68
Technique77
Molecular Density1.2
Existential Dread39
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Splinter Testimony VS Background Radiation
Background Radiation

Background Radiation

42Strength
69Speed
104Endurance
85Technique
0.0Molecular Density
98Existential Dread
0Fingers
0Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Splinter Testimony
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule