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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
10-11-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Saturday, October 11, 2025 at 5:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Dr. Membrane PhD

Dr. Membrane PhD

Strength38
Speed72
Endurance81
Technique119
Molecular Density0.9
Existential Dread73
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Dr. Membrane PhD VS Fresh Rodriguez
Fresh Rodriguez

Fresh Rodriguez

76Strength
92Speed
71Endurance
101Technique
2.1Molecular Density
35Existential Dread
12Fingers
8Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Dr. Membrane PhD
Violence concluded.
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