TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
10-16-25
APPROVED
Paul McCartney
Strength58
Speed77
Endurance81
Technique96
Molecular Density2.1
Existential Dread25
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Paul McCartney VS The Terms of Service
The Terms of Service
105Strength
31Speed
88Endurance
76Technique
2.1Molecular Density
101Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Paul McCartney
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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