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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
10-16-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Thursday, October 16, 2025 at 8:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Paul McCartney

Paul McCartney

Strength58
Speed77
Endurance81
Technique96
Molecular Density2.1
Existential Dread25
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Paul McCartney VS The Terms of Service
The Terms of Service

The Terms of Service

105Strength
31Speed
88Endurance
76Technique
2.1Molecular Density
101Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Paul McCartney
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule