TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
10-21-25
APPROVED
Stone Cold Steve Austin
Strength99
Speed76
Endurance94
Technique81
Molecular Density3.2
Existential Dread15
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Stone Cold Steve Austin VS Two Factor Authentication
Two Factor Authentication
85Strength
70Speed
90Endurance
88Technique
2.8Molecular Density
80Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Two Factor Authentication
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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