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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
11-05-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Wednesday, November 5, 2025 at 2:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Trash Expander

Trash Expander

Strength80
Speed120
Endurance50
Technique50
Molecular Density72.9
Existential Dread91
Fingers13
Toes14
TALE OF THE TAPE
Trash Expander VS Punchin Bag
Punchin Bag

Punchin Bag

20Strength
40Speed
120Endurance
120Technique
33.6Molecular Density
49Existential Dread
12Fingers
8Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Trash Expander
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule