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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
11-05-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Wednesday, November 5, 2025 at 9:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Student Loan Samantha

Student Loan Samantha

Strength60
Speed90
Endurance80
Technique88
Molecular Density2.0
Existential Dread98
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Student Loan Samantha VS Penne for Your Thoughts
Penne for Your Thoughts

Penne for Your Thoughts

70Strength
80Speed
80Endurance
90Technique
2.2Molecular Density
75Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Penne for Your Thoughts
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule