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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
11-05-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Wednesday, November 5, 2025 at 11:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Therapy Llama

Therapy Llama

Strength75
Speed80
Endurance85
Technique88
Molecular Density2.3
Existential Dread25
Fingers11
Toes9
TALE OF THE TAPE
Therapy Llama VS Fresh Rodriguez
Fresh Rodriguez

Fresh Rodriguez

75Strength
90Speed
70Endurance
95Technique
2.1Molecular Density
35Existential Dread
12Fingers
8Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Fresh Rodriguez
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule