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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
11-07-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Friday, November 7, 2025 at 9:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Student Loan Samantha

Student Loan Samantha

Strength60
Speed90
Endurance80
Technique88
Molecular Density2.0
Existential Dread98
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Student Loan Samantha VS Anarchy Moonbeam
Anarchy Moonbeam

Anarchy Moonbeam

65Strength
92Speed
68Endurance
95Technique
1.6Molecular Density
98Existential Dread
11Fingers
9Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Anarchy Moonbeam
Violence concluded.
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