TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
11-08-25
APPROVED
Beef Supreme
Strength95
Speed60
Endurance81
Technique70
Molecular Density2.4
Existential Dread15
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Beef Supreme VS The Waffle Iron
The Waffle Iron
70Strength
88Speed
66Endurance
76Technique
3.3Molecular Density
22Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
The Waffle Iron
Violence concluded.
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