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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
11-10-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Monday, November 10, 2025 at 11:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Tale of the Broken Elevator

Tale of the Broken Elevator

Strength80
Speed60
Endurance90
Technique95
Molecular Density2.7
Existential Dread80
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Tale of the Broken Elevator VS Form 27-B Frank
Form 27-B Frank

Form 27-B Frank

85Strength
45Speed
98Endurance
100Technique
3.5Molecular Density
99Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Form 27-B Frank
Violence concluded.
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