TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
11-13-25
APPROVED
Beans McBlase
Strength70
Speed80
Endurance75
Technique90
Molecular Density2.1
Existential Dread45
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Beans McBlase VS LinkedIn Larry "Professional Network"
LinkedIn Larry "Professional Network"
72Strength
68Speed
79Endurance
81Technique
2.1Molecular Density
75Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
LinkedIn Larry "Professional Network"
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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