TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
11-14-25
APPROVED
Participation Trophy Tom
Strength46
Speed52
Endurance58
Technique62
Molecular Density1.0
Existential Dread80
Fingers12
Toes8
TALE OF THE TAPE
Participation Trophy Tom VS Fart Sniffer Supreme
Fart Sniffer Supreme
40Strength
50Speed
45Endurance
65Technique
0.8Molecular Density
90Existential Dread
9Fingers
11Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Participation Trophy Tom
Violence concluded.
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