TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
11-14-25
APPROVED
Skunkhand Jenkins
Strength60
Speed20
Endurance120
Technique100
Molecular Density24.3
Existential Dread80
Fingers8
Toes6
TALE OF THE TAPE
Skunkhand Jenkins VS Tucan Shakur
Tucan Shakur
120Strength
100Speed
20Endurance
60Technique
75.8Molecular Density
99Existential Dread
14Fingers
13Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Tucan Shakur
Violence concluded.
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