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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
11-14-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Friday, November 14, 2025 at 4:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Clippy “It Looks Like You're Dying”

Clippy “It Looks Like You're Dying”

Strength70
Speed90
Endurance60
Technique80
Molecular Density1.3
Existential Dread52
Fingers12
Toes8
TALE OF THE TAPE
Clippy “It Looks Like You're Dying” VS Mop Chop Molly
Mop Chop Molly

Mop Chop Molly

80Strength
80Speed
70Endurance
70Technique
1.9Molecular Density
18Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Clippy “It Looks Like You're Dying”
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule