TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
11-14-25
APPROVED
Chairman Meow
Strength85
Speed62
Endurance84
Technique69
Molecular Density87.7
Existential Dread66
Fingers6
Toes12
TALE OF THE TAPE
Chairman Meow VS Slobby Joe Jr.
Slobby Joe Jr.
96Strength
75Speed
60Endurance
69Technique
30.0Molecular Density
98Existential Dread
12Fingers
6Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Slobby Joe Jr.
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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