TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
11-14-25
APPROVED
George Harrison
Strength60
Speed80
Endurance75
Technique98
Molecular Density1.7
Existential Dread15
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
George Harrison VS Energy Drink Eddie
Energy Drink Eddie
65Strength
98Speed
70Endurance
80Technique
1.8Molecular Density
75Existential Dread
12Fingers
8Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Energy Drink Eddie
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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