TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
11-18-25
APPROVED
Average Joe
Strength75
Speed75
Endurance75
Technique75
Molecular Density50.0
Existential Dread45
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Average Joe VS Skunkhand Jenkins
Skunkhand Jenkins
60Strength
20Speed
120Endurance
100Technique
24.3Molecular Density
80Existential Dread
8Fingers
6Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Average Joe
Violence concluded.
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