TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
11-20-25
APPROVED
Double Cup Dwayne
Strength71
Speed74
Endurance84
Technique81
Molecular Density82.7
Existential Dread43
Fingers8
Toes9
TALE OF THE TAPE
Double Cup Dwayne VS Elbow Pope
Elbow Pope
81Strength
59Speed
70Endurance
90Technique
73.8Molecular Density
7Existential Dread
11Fingers
6Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Elbow Pope
Violence concluded.
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