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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
08-04-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Monday, August 4, 2025 at 5:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Millipede Aqualuft

Millipede Aqualuft

Strength65
Speed85
Endurance75
Technique80
Molecular Density2.2
Existential Dread60
Fingers1000
Toes1000
TALE OF THE TAPE
Millipede Aqualuft VS Sixpack Santiago
Sixpack Santiago

Sixpack Santiago

88Strength
70Speed
92Endurance
65Technique
2.6Molecular Density
30Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Sixpack Santiago
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule