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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
11-20-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Thursday, November 20, 2025 at 6:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Splinter Testimony

Splinter Testimony

Strength74
Speed81
Endurance68
Technique77
Molecular Density1.2
Existential Dread39
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Splinter Testimony VS The Footnote
The Footnote

The Footnote

63Strength
97Speed
62Endurance
78Technique
0.9Molecular Density
71Existential Dread
8Fingers
8Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

The Footnote
Violence concluded.
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