TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
11-21-25
APPROVED
Birthday Alone Barry
Strength68
Speed82
Endurance79
Technique71
Molecular Density1.7
Existential Dread77
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Birthday Alone Barry VS Unanswered Text Anxiety
Unanswered Text Anxiety
81Strength
64Speed
78Endurance
77Technique
2.1Molecular Density
93Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Birthday Alone Barry
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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