TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
11-22-25
APPROVED
Dead Houseplant Duncan
Strength75
Speed70
Endurance85
Technique70
Molecular Density1.5
Existential Dread64
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Dead Houseplant Duncan VS Fresh Rodriguez
Fresh Rodriguez
75Strength
90Speed
70Endurance
95Technique
2.1Molecular Density
35Existential Dread
12Fingers
8Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Dead Houseplant Duncan
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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