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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
11-25-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Tuesday, November 25, 2025 at 5:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Out of Network Nancy

Out of Network Nancy

Strength78
Speed66
Endurance79
Technique77
Molecular Density2.7
Existential Dread76
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Out of Network Nancy VS Generic Cola Gary
Generic Cola Gary

Generic Cola Gary

74Strength
83Speed
63Endurance
80Technique
3.0Molecular Density
39Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Generic Cola Gary
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule