TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
11-25-25
APPROVED
The Honorable Judge Fistmas
Strength71
Speed89
Endurance74
Technique66
Molecular Density1.2
Existential Dread22
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
The Honorable Judge Fistmas VS The Misnomer
The Misnomer
91Strength
54Speed
89Endurance
66Technique
1.3Molecular Density
17Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
The Honorable Judge Fistmas
Violence concluded.
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