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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
08-05-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Tuesday, August 5, 2025 at 12:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Participation Trophy Tom

Participation Trophy Tom

Strength46
Speed52
Endurance58
Technique62
Molecular Density1.0
Existential Dread80
Fingers12
Toes8
TALE OF THE TAPE
Participation Trophy Tom VS Baiten Switch
Baiten Switch

Baiten Switch

40Strength
75Speed
75Endurance
110Technique
5.8Molecular Density
85Existential Dread
0Fingers
25Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Baiten Switch
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule