TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
11-28-25
APPROVED
The Pending Update
Strength69
Speed76
Endurance93
Technique62
Molecular Density1.1
Existential Dread88
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
The Pending Update VS The Implied
The Implied
55Strength
83Speed
77Endurance
85Technique
1.0Molecular Density
92Existential Dread
9Fingers
11Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
The Implied
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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