TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
11-29-25
APPROVED
Derek Moneyberg
Strength73
Speed75
Endurance86
Technique76
Molecular Density57.2
Existential Dread45
Fingers13
Toes12
TALE OF THE TAPE
Derek Moneyberg VS Deadline Debra
Deadline Debra
70Strength
90Speed
70Endurance
70Technique
2.4Molecular Density
88Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Derek Moneyberg
Violence concluded.
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