TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
08-05-25
APPROVED
Captcha Chaos Champion
Strength60
Speed85
Endurance80
Technique92
Molecular Density1.7
Existential Dread75
Fingers9
Toes11
TALE OF THE TAPE
Captcha Chaos Champion VS Verne Troyer
Verne Troyer
35Strength
70Speed
60Endurance
85Technique
1.1Molecular Density
55Existential Dread
8Fingers
8Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Captcha Chaos Champion
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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