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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
12-01-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Monday, December 1, 2025 at 11:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Insurance Denial Ian

Insurance Denial Ian

Strength86
Speed75
Endurance80
Technique98
Molecular Density3.1
Existential Dread95
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Insurance Denial Ian VS Rubber Glizzy
Rubber Glizzy

Rubber Glizzy

84Strength
75Speed
94Endurance
85Technique
2.9Molecular Density
72Existential Dread
10Fingers
11Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Rubber Glizzy
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule