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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
08-05-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Tuesday, August 5, 2025 at 6:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
LinkedIn Larry "Professional Network"

LinkedIn Larry "Professional Network"

Strength75
Speed70
Endurance80
Technique85
Molecular Density2.1
Existential Dread75
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
LinkedIn Larry "Professional Network" VS Disorder McFrenzy
Disorder McFrenzy

Disorder McFrenzy

68Strength
95Speed
70Endurance
88Technique
1.5Molecular Density
92Existential Dread
12Fingers
8Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

LinkedIn Larry "Professional Network"
Violence concluded.
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