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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
12-06-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Saturday, December 6, 2025 at 1:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Donut Handler

Donut Handler

Strength77
Speed61
Endurance86
Technique76
Molecular Density62.7
Existential Dread49
Fingers8
Toes11
TALE OF THE TAPE
Donut Handler VS Low Battery Mode
Low Battery Mode

Low Battery Mode

100Strength
2Speed
100Endurance
100Technique
10.0Molecular Density
99Existential Dread
20Fingers
20Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Low Battery Mode
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule